成熟戀情必經的四個階段
有位心理學家曾寫道，一個成熟稱得上真愛的戀情必須經過四個階段，那就是：
共存(codependent)
反依賴(counterdependent)
獨立(independent)
共生(interdependent)
階段之間轉換所需的時間不一定，因人而易。
第一個階段：共存。
這是熱戀時期，情人不論何時何地總希望能膩在一起。
第二個階段：反依賴。
等到情感穩定後，至少會有一方想要有多一點自己的時間作自己想做的事，這時另一方就會感到被冷落。
第三個階段：獨立。
這是第二個階段的延續，要求更多獨立自主的時間。
第四個階段：共生。
這時新的相處之道已經成形，你的他(她)已經成爲你最親的人。你們在一起相互扶持、一起開創屬於你們自己的人生。你們在一起不會互相牽絆，而會互相成長。但是，大部分的人都通不過第二或第三階段，而選擇分手一途，這是非常可惜的。很多事只要好好溝通都會沒事的，不要耍個性，不要想太多要互相信任，這樣第二、三階段的時間就會縮短。和所愛的人相遇相戀是非常不容易的，不要輕言放棄。兩人相聚是因爲有緣，相知是因爲有心，真的得好好珍惜這福份莫說分手。希望看到上述的四個階段，真能給大家一些啓示與領悟並惜緣，我們會逐漸變成我們所愛的人。你和他本來沒有相同之處，外表不相像，性格也是南轅北轍，一旦愛上了，年深日久，你會驚訝你的眼睛有點像他的眼睛，他的微笑也有點像你的微笑。你們走路的步伐也有點相似，說話的語氣也愈來愈相像。他的脖子上有一顆痣，一天，你發現自己脖子上也多了一顆痣，原來我們會變成我們所愛的人。你本來喜歡腳踏實地的人，而他一向比較輕佻，但你們愛上了，他竟會不知不覺變成一個老實人，這個改變，連他自己也不曾察覺。他本來喜歡活潑的女孩子，卻愛上了拘謹的你，這些日子，你竟愈來愈活潑，你差點認不出自己。我們會逐漸變成對方理想中的人，這種改變，絕對不是刻意的。兩個人愈愛得長久，氣質也愈來愈相近，你曾經以爲他不是你夢寐以求的那種類型，然而，有一天，你驚訝地發現，他已經變成你喜歡的那種類型，你不必再到處尋覓，他就是你要找的人。
深深愛著一個人的時候，你原來真的會一點一點的失去自己，爲什麽你還會覺得快樂呢？大概是因爲你在失去的當兒，也是賺了，你把他的氣質和他的微笑都賺回來……
幸福很單純……所以要很單純的人才容易獲得……
與我親愛的朋友們分享之,希望大家都得到圓滿的結果，找到一個你愛的人真的很不容易，請大家珍惜。
posted by 貓貓。周 @ 11:56 PM
1 Comments:
Subject: Earthquake survival - something different. Please! Read and re-post, do not reply, RE-POST!!!!!!!!
THIS MAKES A LOT MORE SENSE THAN CRAWLING UNDER SOMETHING!
It is an EXTRACT FROM DOUG COPP'S ARTICLE ON THE: "TRIANGLE OF LIFE," edited by Larry Linn for MAA Safety Committee brief on 4/13/04
My name is Doug Copp. I am the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI), the world's most experienced rescue team.
The information in this article will save lives in an earthquake. I have crawled inside 875 collapsed buildings, worked with rescue teams from 60 countries, founded rescue teams in several countries, and I am a member of many rescue teams from many countries.
I was the United Nations expert in Disaster Mitigation for two years...There would likely have been 100 percent survivability for people using my method of the "triangle of life." The first building I ever crawled inside of was a school in Mexico City during the 1985 earthquake. Every child was under their desk. Every child was crushed to the thickness of their bones.
They could have survived by lying down next to their desks in the aisles. It was obscene, unnecessary and I wondered why the children were not in the aisles. I didn't know at the time that the children were told to hide under something.
Simply stated, when buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings falling upon the objects or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a space or void next to them. This space is what I call the "triangle of life". The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. (Crush).
The less the object compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability that the person who is using this void for safety will not be injured. The next time you watch collapsed buildings, on television, count the triangles" you see formed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape, you will see, in a collapsed building. They are everywhere.
TEN TIPS FOR EARTHQUAKE SAFETY:
1) Most everyone who simply "ducks and covers" WHEN BUILDINGS COLLAPSE are crushed to death. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, are crushed.
2) Cats, dogs and babies often naturally curl up in the fetal position. You should too in an earthquake. It is a natural safety/survival instinct. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it.
3) Wooden buildings are the safest type of construction to be in during an earthquake. Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created. Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.
4) If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on the back of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.
5) If an earthquake happens and you cannot easily escape by getting out the door or window, then lie down and curl up in the fetal position next to a sofa, or large chair.
6) Most everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed.How? If you stand under a doorway and the doorjamb falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed!
7) Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different "moment of frequency" (they swing separately from the main part of the building). The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place.
The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads- horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn't collapse, stay away from the stairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged.
Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse later when overloaded by fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.
8) Get Near the Outer Walls Of Buildings Or Outside Of Them If Possible. It is much better to be near the outside of the building rather than the interior. The farther inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked.
9) People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway. The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles.
They were all killed. They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting or lying next to their vehicles.Everyone killed would have survived if they had been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All the crushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars that had columns fall directly across them.
10) I discovered, while crawling inside of collapsed newspaper offices and other offices with a lot of paper, that paper does not compact. Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper.
Spread this word and save someone's life... Please!
Post a Comment
<< Home